Aug. 10th, 2022. 2:45 A.M

wtf is this what is h6 tag this is h6 tag..

hello, i would like for this to be my uber secret blog. i can't even find out how to change the size of text yet but whatevr lol. it would be way easier if i knew what all of these abbreviations stand for. I swear i can't absorb knowledge unless i know why/how.... otherwise it's just memorization and not learning, isn't it?.

anyways, heres a small list of things i would like to learn how to do!.. rawdogging formatting this list btw so if i nail it just know it was a super awesome feeling for me.

i really hope that worked. i mean, not that a reader could notice in the future, because i will have already gone back and fixed it. muahaha. also it will be so epic to apply the changes i wanted to learn to the text so in the future it looks like i already knew how to do it or something.

I NAILED IT FIRST TRY. sorry making headers is the only way i know how to make txt bigger or smaller right now. oops

note to future self: you can use an unlimited amount of headers it do not matter the number after the h either. also trying to space stuff within a header (probably a paragraph too) is futile. just create another set of header tags.
btw, just rediscovered the song "blackout" by scorpions. my whole life i thought the lyrics were "i really had to make out" this shit slaps. nothing is better than rediscovering a song you didn't know you knew

Here's how you can make bold and italic text.

testin out inline css.. holy shit its gonna be hard to learn how to do this in a way that i understand! i could hypothetically just make this site look exactly the way i want via google but i would like to understand how it actually works because i know damn well i'm not gonna want some goofy free tumblr layout. yuck!

Aug 13th @ 5:32 a.m ITS RIANGINg

I have been rewarded by the heavens tonight. Waas sitting here all comfy and happy sipping my beverages and it started to rain! THIS is joyous whimsy my brothers. THIS is joyouse whimsy. Words cannot express my true gratitude for such small moments of joy as i forget life can even create them when i am not inside of one. In other words; FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA hellyeah brother hell yea

Experiencing true joyous whimsy (alone) tonight for the first time in a while. Feeling truly and completely comfy for the first time in a long long while. Despite this trailer's knack for grossing me out, it also has been the location with the highest concentration of true comfy moments for me, like, ever. Kind of wish i were sober so i could brag about it being sober but ehhh idc i feel amazing.I am so very grateful for moments like these. I've been wishing really hard for some joyous whimsy in my life. I love smiling and i love being happy. I love life and love and friends. My brain is just a bitch most of the time. Maybe if i found a way to stop hating so many things maybe i'd have more moments like this. Maybe if the people i surrounded myself with don't judge me for what makes me happy maybe just maybe with time I will discover more things that make me feel this way.

It's not like I want to live in the state i have been living in. Maybe i unconssciously enjoy it but i sure as hell know i dont truly want it. I don't enjoy not being able to enjoy my life and most things around me like some people think....interesting of people to believe i would really torture myself like that just to be able to say i am different. I don't want to be different, I want to be loved.

i hope i can get more pods tomorrow

aug 18th @ 5:08 a.m

Currently focusing on a nice little choose-your-own adventure treat for all ye who art too dumb to enter here, so that's why this shithole of a website hasn't been updated in a minute. The main point of this website was for me to store content like the little trickster I am and make people solve little riddles for it hehe.. But I know i'd have to learn alot more to find out how to create my next few little tricks for finding stuff like drawigns and poems and not make it look actually insane... lol. Harley becomes a writer because she's too lazy to learn how tomake non textbased stuff not look crazy. And also embarrassingly enough after reading my little books and listening to my little Emilie Autumn i've been feeling word-y. Also other there are other factors of inspiration at play here but I've been too tired to figure out code-names for everything right now. I think i need to change the password to something much more dificult. I already somewhat regret sharing the link to this site with just one person even though it's somebody I trust. I put so much effort into this all initially because i wanted somewhere to unleash my unfiltered thoughts under a pseudonym to avoid the embarrassment. But there's that little part of me that wishes I could just say everything and find out somebody is like me. But I know I am (CRINGE ALERT) a little bit of a special case. consider everything i say from now on a LARP. I will sprinkle in some random lies just so I can say whatever i feel and more and also keep bitches on their toes.

Also I've been feeling super strange today and a ton of weird shit happened. My favorite part was when I was doing my compulsive daily cyberstalking of my current favorite individual and foudn something that triggered a delusioni keep on forgetting i actua;;y believe. (it didt have anything to do with them BTW. ew.) I kind of just gaslight myself into un-believing because it's like the second most embarrassing reoccuring one but by god is it the strongest one. Damn shawty all it takes it THAT? L. i hate the antichrist and i hate being cray. Need to close the curtain on these little things and open the curtain on some stupi marilyn manson stuff because that's less cringe suprisingly enough... MERLIN MANSION BEST LYRICIST 666EVAR!! worst part about this all aside from my like not reality things is that i can't believe i'm harley-moding over somebody i think that i probab;y just really want to be bros with like i want to hang out with them so fuckeng bad and bruh its insane iwant ot be friends and hang out and be buddies and has fun and they hang out with my friend and i hang out with their frien. L . L.L.llllllllllllllllllll. it smeel like grill cheese in this bitch rn.

update from sep 2nd: we are friend now thank you i have broken the curse i no longer have to kill anymore. tf was i beind so dramatic for. friendless behavior.

I WENT TO GOD JUST TO SEE

AND I WAS LOOKIN AT ME

yeah

SAW HEAVEN AND HELL WERE LIES

WHEN I'M GOD EVERYONE DIES

SCAR CN YOU FEEL MY POWER SHOOT HERE AND THE WORLD GETS SMALLER SCAR SCAR CAN YOU FEEL MY POWER ONE SHOT AND THE WORLD GETS SMALLER

LETS JUMP UPON THE SHARP WOUNDS

WITHOUT THE THREAT OF DEATH

THERES NO REASON TO LIVE, AT ALL

MY WORLD IS UNAFFECTED

THERE IS AN EXIT HERE

I SAY IT IS AND IT'S TRUE

THERE IS A DREAM INSIDE A DREAM

IM WIDE AWAKE THE MORE I SLEEP

YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHEN I'M DEAD!!!

September 2nd, 2022 @ 5:05 a.m

  Alot has happened, to say the very least. I've gotten about a total of 12 hours sleep in the past three days, most likely because of how nervous I was/am about hammy getting neutered. He just had the procedure yesterday. He's trying to do basically everything he's not supposed to. Which is kinda funny because I assumed he would be all drugged out when I brought him home, but he actually was just acting completely normal. Not a good thing though, had trouble getting him his cone. :|
  One of my very close friends also is going through something pretty rough and its really sad to see him upset like that. Maybe this month is off to a rough start for everyone? Is this the beginnings of 2022's seasonal depression period or did all of those tiktok chainmail audios catch up to all who didn't participate?-- My friend (I'll call him krongus) came over today even though shit sucked but he ended up leaving pretty early. I hope all will be ok soon and if not I hope we all still can bro out even if everything sucks for everyone.
I feel that for one of the first times in my life I have a steady and healthy like friend group dynamic and we all see eachother pretty often. I'm not gonna lie and say I'm not scared that all of us going through hard times is gonna destroy everything. All of us have depression or something else wired wrong and normally what that means is isolation. I hope that if anything, hard times will make us closer instead of tearing everything apart. I'm also scared I'm about to get karma'd for accidentally icing out another friend of ours from the group.. HOWEVER in my defense it is Nawt my sole responsibility to invite him to everything if we're all supposed to be friends yknow? I think I also need to learn that not eveything is about me. Like in the face of peril or literally anything not explicitly positive I'm like
shit oh nooooo it's my fault I have to fix it all or I'm horrible woe is me
Like calm the fuck down man, I dunno. Blame it on the cancer rising or something else astrological or something. I would probably think I was an empath if I wasn't self-aware enough to know it's some cocktail of trauma responses or something with a garnish of my absolute inability to handle even an IOTA of stress. LOL!
  Anywho,
  I've been listening to alot of marilyn manson midis and just plain old marilyn manson. Yuck. But fr I would highly recommend listening to great big white world midi. Will probably find a way to integrate it into the website because if I just don't say who it's by people will think its some stupidass indie boy shit or something. Fuck you if you listen to weird shit and think you're better than me. Anyways "Great Big White World" and "Last day on earth" are two CRIMINALLY underrated songs. Marilyn Manson is criminally underrated becaue when people think of it they think of shit ass personal jesus or some other SHIT ASS song...
rock on my brothers!!!!!!!!!! \m/ \m/


here is a uber secret gif from the coolest webiste ever, comawhite.com